Fitness, Fury and Faghaggery

Fitter
So firstly I am feeling, despite drinking lemsip as I type, a whole heap better today after a day off work sleeping, sleeping, sleeping and calming myself with Diagnosis Murder and Shaun the Sheep... Therapeutic stuff indeed. Also today's episode of Torchwood thanks to the magic of iPlayer as my missus (who came home at lunchtime today to make tonight's dinner and put it in the fridge like a true star) is out tonight at a meeting. It was a good Torchwood though I feel I'm missing out now that I've head about their alternative reality game The Torchwood Mission that goes with it curtosy of the Guardian Tech Weekly Podcast. Darn. BTW I'm all about the Ianto & Jack lovin. Sorta liking Martha Jones from Doctor Who (is it turning into a kids only show these days btw?) turning up. And worried greatly for Owen. Although he has weird skin. But I digress.

So, health mostly recovered, I am finally feeling up to homework which is how I shall spend the rest of this evening and tomorrow evening as I badly need to catch up and since this fortnight's topic is web2.0 and hypertext I'm all geared up and interested now that my head doesn't feel like a high pressure hot air balloon!

Fury!
Can you believe the new xenophobic immigration proposals today? Heather and I are irate not only because we have a little invested in the whole immigration law thing but also because we're not foaming crazed xenophobes. And we know just how much net contribution most immigrants make into the tax system. Indeed far from the tabloid view that all immigrants are benefits malingerers almost all legal immigrants are not actually allowed "recourse to public funds" until they are citizens after at least 5 years of residency here. And that's assuming they want to become citizens otherwise they get less recourse despite continuing to pay into the public purse. Perhaps all native dwellers who only take and do not contribute to the tax and national insurance systems should also have to make special payments as a malingerers tax to match the immigrant's tax. Or maybe we are a civilised country with a welfare state that should not be thinking that way.

Anyway the whole thing leaves me wondering:

a) What the fuck constitutes Britishness? I'm sure I don't know. And I suspect I wouldn't qualify if you tested me.

b) If Labour just turned slightly right wing of the BNP.

c) Just how many bloody bankers the government think they want in the country: with medical staff from outside the EU now barred, income and testing barriers to immigrants; £700+ fees for applications for leave to remain and the most prohibitive work permit applications possible they pretty much restrict non EU incomers to being millionaires in form-evading industries (who will likely keep their money elsewhere - like the "non-doms" the government is leaving in charge of Northern Rock) or illegal immigrants. "Normal" folks need not apply. Unless they wish to mortgage their soul and trade in their personality for a "British" cliche, Terrifying.

Faghaggary
On a much much lighter note. Today's Savage Love Podcast ended on a pleading note with Dan Savage, following a particularly sad caller ringing about the trauma of being a faghag who's fag was no longer interested, begging fags everywhere to be nice to their faghags when they've outgrown them. I felt quite the pang of sympathy as, whilst never invested in one of those straight girl/gay guy faghag situations (which is a bit different as there's always that weird possibility that maybe, just maybe, there'll be a full long term relationship not that very loving, very intense, very non-sexual thing to take a relationship's place) but being a bi/gay gal faghag is not wholly different so I can speak from experience that the break up of said almost relationship is quite traumatic. Thankfully my fag has stayed my pal but for a while there things were weird. And hey, we still hold quite the tie to each other. Anyway if you need a serious dose of education on faghags see The Object of My Affection. Far far far better than the borderline homophobic and generally excreble "comedy" Will & Grace where, regardless of how they sold the show, the will they/won't they plot was core to the entire horrible thing. Although Karen and Jack were far more a faghaggy pair they were just a bit too open to anything to properly get the vibe across. Wow. I'd forgotten how pleased I was when that show got cancelled. Phew...

Anyway I should go away and do my homework thang. And my Oscar ballot thang. Oh and to be impressed at the amazing age that Edna Everedge's eternal bridesmaid Madge reached - she just died aged 100 which is not bad at all especially as she only retired aged 98!

Oh and finally... I was listening to Radio 4's new Museum of Curiosity but I can't say I'm totally taken with it. Bill Bailey doesn't seem to be used to his best though Brian Blessed was entertaining and did a fabulous Tarzan call. Sean Lock's revolutionary scarf knot also gave me pause for thought. Problem is it seems to be Genius. Minus the geniuses... hmm...

Back from London, loving iPlayer, struggling to think...

St Pauls from the wobbly bridge
Originally uploaded by eurovision_nicola

Last weekend was an awesome assault on London culture with visits to the V&A, Tate Modern, The British Museum - including the terracotta warriors, War Horse at the National Theatre (including a genuinely thrilling backstage tour and use of the brilliant £5 standing tickets) and less cultural meals at Abano Okanami-Yaki, Taz, Breads etc., meetings with Anna, Scott and Mimi, and shopping at Sh! and Borough market. It was fab.

But at the start of the weekend I had a bit of a cold and by monday (after a thursday on a sleeper, early mornings and busy days friday, saturday and sunday) I was fully coldified but not ill enough to not be at work. Subsequently this week has included much less MSc homework than it should have, some really weird eating (chocolate features highly for convenience and comfort), and lots of viewing of weird stuff on BBC iPlayer. I would recommend, for instance, Saville Row (about tailors on the eponimous street) and a nameless BBC Wales documentary series which last week covered Mike Young (of SuperTed fame, he's a bit unconvincing and creepy but I have the dubious honour of having been his neighbour and having swum in his bubble-covered pool when little) and this week covered a couple setting up a Christian sex shop. They meant well but having recently been in Sh! it was immediately obvious where they were making all their mistakes... Oh and I want to know why anal sex is un Christian but cock rings are fine, why porn is bad but kinky underwear is ok, and why S&M is no go but implausibly aweful "sexy" boardgames are groovy. Surely if there is a god/s s/he/they have a high kink factor or a really weird sense of humour...

I did go to a great BBC Mobile thing at work this week which gave me hope that the downsides of the lovely new iPlayer - slow streams for some shows, bad suggestions, horrible navigation - will get there eventually. Exciting stuff. I'd love to work to the BBC - if their geek arms ever relocated north I'll be applying endlessly!

Anyway I have overdosed on sugar and melancholy today so I need to go back to homework to try and achieve something useful this week...

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Insomnia

This morning on the way into work I found myself listening to an excellent wee essay from this week's Book of the Week on Radio4, At Large and at Small: Confessions of a Literary Hedonist By Anne Fadiman. Today Fadiman was talking about the fact that your likeliness to be a lark or an owl are actually hard coded into your DNA rather than just being habits. Her description of being a well adjusted owl was a reassuring burst given that I was listening as I lugged my immense mocha to work in a semi-comotosed state having the previous night been positively buzzing with energy come bed time.

And today here I am at 1am still fairly wide awake and with a wee pile of things to do before bed. Sometimes you just need to give in to night owl temptations I think. Although I don't have to give in to watching the OC which is currently polluting my audio landscape and is about to be unceremoniously switched off.

A whole lot better entertainment can be found with Dan Savage at the Stranger.com. John recommended his podcasts when he was staying recently and they are a catty explicit treat. Today I started subscribing at work and though the content is a little work inappropriatte, it's actually therapeutically wakeful and spikey in a day otherwise dominated by munging data and counting sets of 3 consecutive digits. Not that work is bad at all at the moment but in the pre-Xmas lack of goals and leave taking bonanza things are less than fabulously exciting. Especially with the charming December weather and light levels in Edinburgh at the moment which have me about fit to hibernate.


Thank goodness then for sleaze, sequins and stripping in the form of Burlescapades, a classy slice of kink that will be livening up Heather, Sarah and my Friday night. Having raided my substantial collection of ludicrous gowns (years of murder mystery parties have left me with a formidable dress up/formal collection) I eventually found my chosen combo: a chartreuse green showgirl skirt from an outfit I made for Vegas in about 2002/3, the corset I made for my wedding, the pearly necklace (to be draped on the corset) I made for a murder mystery where everyone was a colour (I was Lady Pearl White), several fabulously OTT plastic and glass rings, the chandelier earrings I bought in jenners some time back before they were evil (if not evil then certainly bland), my dress pins (yes that would be a matched pair of bling a ding ding retro brooches brought in two completely different places but fortuitously perfectly matched) and some necklace or other to be decided from the general beaded collection. All that remains to find/make are two kick ass fabric rosette type flowers to meld corset with skirt. And an outfit for Heather who is significantly less interested in such dressing up silliness. Which I mostly don't mind as I get to show off more but it's a shame as Burlescapades looks like a glam affair. Ho hum.

Which reminds me... Many many moons ago I used to write a column called "Dyke Without Dungarees Ranting" (see links at the end of this rant - I tried to find the inappropriate picture but now I get a lot of political pics as Google thinks I mean some unholy combo of Nicola Sturgeon and George Osborne :::::shudder::::) and a friend at the university's then excellent gay group BLOG's (now more a guys dating network than the serious minded lesbian-led political group it was circa 1999) told me I needed to write about the nightmare that was PMT in a long term relationship. At the time I was single, nieve, and less than enlightened about the sheer predictability of much of life's crankiness. I now believe said lady so expect the theme to raise its ugly head if/when I get around to updating this blog at a suitable time.

Now is not the time though: I have loads of transatlantic pressies I swore would be wrapped before bed, work tomorrow and a world of panicking over how few christmas shopping days there are left to take precedent...

For now I will leave you with links to my former column:
I can't find a feminine lesbian for love nor money!
Rant of the Month: Nicola Osborne on the gay press

And an excellent film that all this Googling reminded me to rerecommend (review hosted by the lovely Amber and co at eyeforfilm:
Lifetime Guarantee: Phranc's Adventures in Plastic

The day I took the train...

A little Ocean Colour Scene reference for you there. Today I am stuck on a currently static (I lie, it's just started to crawl along) train down to London for the excitement that is the Aleph User Group meeting at the British Library.

Apparently the problem was:

Traction motors in the Drem area...

Anyway, much fun with trains and delays, trying to type minutes and occasional bursts of badly streamed Radio 4 including the shock news that Oh My God, Ming has resigned! I think it's probably overall a good think but it seems a shame that he's basically been nudged out for being too old. But maybe someone will notice that the Lib Dems are actually coming up with the few original policies in the weird Thatcher political soup out there. We'll see...

That's about all for now, odd little post as it is, as I'm watching the end of Nurse Betty and feeling only slightly guilty for not finishing my minutes for work yet.

Showered with frustration

It's turning into an odd autumn...

Since a rather horrified neighbour called at our door early last week we have been without the use of our shower which had been leaking into their newly redecorated bathroom. Until our tiler gets in contact and/or a new tiler is found and whichever of them gets on with making us water tight we are stuck having bathes or very odd showers whilst sat in the bath (too impossible for me to deal with but Heather's an expert). It's surprisingly frustrating even though the bathes themselves are strangely calming (mind you tomorrow I have a meeting so calming is less what I want, fast and wakeful would be better) and just a tad decadent (bubble bath being essential).

All the bathing fun is just a wee drop in the ocean of some rather seasonal depression though: we are down to much lower levels of light and shorter days already; we are starting on the boring road to an entirely root veg filled weekly veg box; work is getting duller and duller as we await some excitement like the changeover to the next funding period while at the same time also having lots of meetings at which we have less to report than would make them exciting; I have a newsletter to write and a website to update but getting round to it is proving hard and even my happy distraction of dress making is tough as I'm losing patience already and haven't even finished H's dress let alone started mine. I've just lost my energy lately and having lunch in doors away from the rain, having only my 18 minutes of walking to and from work as my exercise for the day is all taking its toll. And just as I'm slowing into flabby winter hibernation the world seems to be holding parties and social stuff for the first time in months...

So now I'm hoping I can get my rather unmotivated and unusually flabby arse in gear sufficiently to get into swimming and maybe belly dancing again so that I have a bit of energy injected into my day. Fixing my lunch hour so it's not so cabin feverish would be good but I'm not sure how. That said when my MSc starts in January that will help keep me over busy. I'm also trying to wean myself off my daily Metropole Mochas. That is going to be hard but it's a special request from my Missus as it becomes an expensive habit over the course of a month and is hardly useful so I'm gonna try my best. And I'm trying to arrange some social stuff as any deadline/goal helps me sort stuff out in a way I never manage without some sort of cut off point (that's the main problem with work at the mo actually - endless unchanging frustration with no point at which to be able to feel something is completed or achieved).

However any ideas for perking me up at the moment would be much appreciated. Currently emails from nice work and non work folks are keeping me just about chipper at work but something needs to change as badly as I normally cope with winter this year could be really horrible if I can't wake up my routine and shake it up a bit... I'm trying though.....

In the meantime it's off to the daily challenge of bathing and hair washing without splashes, leaks or soap bubbles escaping the tub... much fun... !

Appropriatte Behaviour...

I've been wondering lately about what it is and isn't appropriate to chat to people about. You know, whether or not to tell your work colleagues about your partner's job situation or your horrible encounter with scabies; whether to complain about how bad your day is to the Big Issue Man (my normal seller, John, is studying to be a veterinary nurse in Glasgow so I think he won't be selling in Edinburgh much anymore which will at least appease my guilt for suggesting his day of selling might be less stressful than my day in my cosy office upstairs converting libraries. I think I'm right but I'm also well aware of how flexible and lucrative my job is and how much more preferable. However John always seems upbeat and a veritable guru of life advice - apparently I should brighten up my desk for maximum effect); whether you try and engage in stilted conversations with the barista you buy your daily hazelnut mocha from, how to tip fairly amongst the variable quality baristas and, worse of all, how to deal with an exchange like this:

Barista: The usual?
Me: Yes please.

then several minutes later as I make moves to pay, I get told the charge...

Barista: Er, the usual...

Now this would be fine in Starbucks or Costa or anywhere with a set in stone pricelist but this exchange took place in Metropole, my very favourite coffee shop in Edinburgh, which is eccentric to the point of bafflement. In the last 7 days I have been charged: £2, £2.50, £1.60 and £1.87 (reduced by a number of completely inexplicable moves from about £2.80). However the nice Barista (I don't know their names but this was Nice Man With Kids Who Gave Me a 10% Discount Card, there is also: Camp Teddy Boy, Cool Inks Guy, Ginger Man, Eczema Guy, Trying Not To Be Ya Girl etc...) was trying to give me massively discounted coffee (in my gorgeous big UC Davis plastic mug stolen from Heather) when a big queue of non-regulars was waiting. But I ask you... what should I have paid??! I went for what he charged me last time and that seems to have stuck now but Heather was with me and the blank looks exchanged were quite something to behold.

The world is a minefield!

Anyway I am off to Alexandras birthday but before I go two links both sourced from that national treasure that is Stephen Fry. If you saw part one of his "HIV & Me" documentary you won't need my recommendation for part 2 next Tuesday at 9. If you missed part 1 I suggest you seek it and part 2 out as it looks to be an excellent balanced show (except the omission of the ladies who like ladies but since we are a stupendously low risk group I do understand that). Anyway, to the links:

Stephen Fry's latest excellent blog entry, this time on Fame

Oh it's the aesthetically hideous but content rich Richard Dawkins site, he's certainly controversial and I sometimes wonder if I wouldn't like him a lot more if he didn't work as such good PR for organised religion since his attacks are often rather below the belt, surreal or simply displaying as much closed mindedness as his subjects. However I'm fascinated by genetics and I really can't get into any supporting any religion whatsoever no matter how positive or negative it's cultural impact so for my money it's worth having a wee look at Prof. Dawkins thoughts...

And finally a link to the Radio 4 show, 4 at Forty, which saw me through the last of my stressful conversions of Cambridge Library records. It's taken ages but I think I've cracked it hence my chirpiness! On the slight chance that it's still there when you read this I also highly recommend this episode of Lives in a Landscape about showgirls - fascinating, respectful and so strange to listen to on Radio 4 but so entirely the only place on radio or tv that they could do it properly!

fluffy ol' egg head

fluffy ol' egg head
Originally uploaded by eurovision_nicola

Wohoo! I'm feeling all creative ahead of the Big Knit and wondering if I can also find space for more beading and the marvels of such places as Beadworks.

In less good creative news I'm struggling with Flickr netiquette. Someone has posted LOADS of comments (mostly sarcastic but nothing offensive - more the sort of comments that amuse 8 year olds) and I'm now not sure whether to:

(a) politely email the chap and ask him nicely not to comment
(b) delete some of his comments
(c) delete all of his comments
(d) start making more of my pics private
(e) all of the above
(f) something else entirely...

Oh the modern virtual minefield of Web 2.0!

Mind you I'm getting off lucky if this young Flickr star's torment is anything to go by.

Jack Straw has some odd ideas about law and order...

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Originally uploaded by eurovision_nicola

On the news yesterday there was a bizarre story from the labour party conference:
"Self Defence" Laws to be reviewed

Ostensibly Jack Straw is encouraging people to take the law into their own hands - after recent stabbings and shootings though this seems like a ludicrous idea. One wonders if he only came up with it to show off about his own Have A Go Hero exploits. Anyway vigilantism with government approval as a concept surely puts Jack Straw somewhere right of Thatcher. Although he still looks like a leftie compared to Blunkett.

I fear common sense has taken a permanent holiday in a world of terrorist paranoia and wrapping children in cotton wool. Indeed this week I was intrigued and horrified (for lots of reasons) by Radio 4's show Bullying.com which both told me of untold nastiness of children but also the bizarre level of protection, aged naivety and weird attitude of some parents. However it was the total unthinking trust, peer pressure and dependence of what should have been fairly mature teenagers which was really shocking -both the victims and the bullies. One wonders if the age of maturity in the UK isn't now edging towards 50 rather than 18. Odd.

Anyway. The whole weird thing is at least an excuse to show this bizarre newspaper hoarding from the Glasgow Airport bomb scare. At the time I thought it was insanely unhelpful, an opinion that only grows stronger with time.

Interesting little view of Facebook

As a full on FB addict I was interested to read today's blog entry from the always interesting Susan Mernit's Blog